Alex is a REAL human being, really.

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Alex is a REAL human being, really.

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This shouldn’t even be a question, but here we are. I keep getting asked things like:

Are you really a human?

And,

Are you some kind of advanced AI bot?

Or,

How do we know you’re not an alien sent here to spy on the human species?

All of these questions are just silly. I have a REAL human body filled with delicious human organs, and a brain made out of meat and everything. And no, I’m not even part bot–definitely NOT a cyborg. Plus, do I look like a robot? Do I look like an alien?

Now before you answer that, be sure that you compare an image of me with an actual alien or an actual robot, or even an alien robot. I developed this visual aid for better understanding:

And for contrast (this should clear up any remaining confusion):

Look, if aliens were ever sent here to Earth, it would be to spy on higher life forms such as spiders, elephants, dolphins, celery or cephalopods. They certainly wouldn’t attempt to blend in with us boring homo sapiens, and do super normal things like write a blog or work in Information Technology, or take selfies in mysterious landscapes.

Now I don’t think there is really any reason to doubt that I am a real human at this point, but in fact I have left comments in my profile so that people will be able to know right away when they read my articles that they are dealing with an actual person.

This should be pretty self-explanatory and leave no real room for doubt. But it had the exact opposite effect for some reason–in fact I’ve been asked so frequently about my “humanness” that I felt a good post was in order to clear things up. Plus, I think this flows nicely with the #HumansOfIT hashtag that has been floating around since Ignite last fall. I am indeed one of these #HumansOfIT as well–just in case anyone was still skeptical.

Born right here in the midwest, I am a citizen of the United States of America. I vote in elections, I shop at Costco, and I even eat a diet that is rich in corn. Like any good American. Like this guy.*

That dude is sooo metal… Sure, I used to listen to a lot of KoRn when I was just a young larvae, too–but I was never this metal. Now would a non-human have such normal interests and good taste in music and internet viral videos? I don’t think so.

Look, I don’t need to belabor the point any further. Suffice it to say that Alex Fields is a completely normal, fully functioning adult HUMAN. End of discussion.

*If you thought that video was crazy, just go search for “eating corn while listening to Korn” and find all the other humans who are tagging on to this trend. Amazing species, aren’t we? You really think aliens would be interested in us?

Comments (6)

  • Ivan Reply

    You seem suspiciously and excessively defensive about these questions… Just the reaction I would expect from some sort of non-human trying to blend in.

    April 1, 2020 at 3:11 am
    • Alex Reply

      But defensiveness itself is so human, is it not?

      April 2, 2020 at 7:07 pm
  • Oleg Reply

    Oh. Now it is clear! ;D

    April 1, 2020 at 5:07 am
  • Dev Reply

    This proves it. Check the date. April 1! This is one big April Fool’s joke. Human… suuuure.

    😛

    April 1, 2020 at 11:37 am
  • Kenny G Reply

    well if your not human you’ve been been programmed pretty good, I really enjoy your articles and newsletters, always spot on !

    nanu – nanu

    April 9, 2020 at 10:25 am
    • Alex Reply

      What a great reference–I haven’t thought about that show in forever.

      April 9, 2020 at 12:08 pm

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